My favorite headline of the Week:
White House Denies CIA Teleported Obama to Mars
Andrew D. Basiago and William Stillings insist that they once served as “chrononauts” at DARPA's behest, traversing the boundaries of time and space. They swear: A youthful Barack Obama was one of them. As “Barry Soetero,” the 19-year-old Obama was one of 10 youths selected to secretly teleport to and from Mars. Regina Dugan, the director of Darpa, was another member.
This would, of course, explain how he was able to forge his own birth certificate. Time travel is handy for that sort of thing.
In a statement made Sept 20, 2011, Mr. Basiago confirmed Mr. Obama’s co-participation in the 1980 Mars training class, stating: “Barry Soetoro, a student at Occidental College, was in my Mars training class under Major Ed Dames at The College of the Siskiyous in Weed, California in 1980. That fact has been corroborated by one of my other classmates, Brett Stillings. Two years later, when he was taller, thinner, more mature, a better listener, using the name ‘Barack Obama,’ and attending a different college, Columbia University, we crossed paths again in Los Angeles and I didn't recognize him as the person that I had been trained with in the Mars program and encountered on the surface of Mars. In fact, doing so would have been virtually impossible in any case, because measures had been taken to block our later memories of Mars shortly after we completed our training in 1980.”
Be seeing you.