Notes From The Belly Of The Beast

I haven't been posting much of late.

   I have recently started a new job and the training is 4PM to Midnight. The internal clock is still recalibrating. So it has come to pass that I am working for a major telecom company again. Back to the House Of Pain, back to the land of trite motivational slogans and of sports metaphors, And on that great day as I stare into the abyss of Black Screen DOS, oh let my name be given back to me.

    Meanwhile, having at last cashed a paycheck, I cooked dinner for my niece and her husband, with whom I have been staying the last few months.I went forth into the streets of Woodland, California in search of a simple bottle of Moselle wine. Not a one was to be found,, not in either grocery store, nor in the local caterers, nor in the liquor store. The problem is that German wine labels tend to be plain and descriptive, while most of the people who buy wines for your average grocer or liquor stores buy bottles with pretty modern art labels or that are from vineyards owned by celebrities...or both. To be fair, that is what will sell. This is, after all, America.

     If you want to make a quick million or two, all you need to do is buy a tanker truck full of Mad Dog, bottle it, slap a label on it with a picture of a Kardashian holding a kitten, and charge $20 a bottle.

     Come to think of it, that pretty much describes the election.


   

     

Not Exactly The Emerald City

   A newly minted University graduate with a degree in music has been reduced for the nonce to playing cowbell for an unappreciative audience of birds.


     Jamie Fox spends all day in a farmer's field, dressed all in orange, ever at the ready to repel partridges with cowbell, accordion or ukulele. All for 250 Pounds a week. Actually, he says it is not bad work. He gets a lot of reading done and claims that many of his better-paid friends with more demanding jobs are a bit envious of him.

     For more.


    Be seeing you.

Wonderful Touching Pro-Equality Ad

Living Graffiti

    Under the cover of the ubiquitous San Francisco fog, the Guerrilla Grafters strike, grafting fruit tree branches onto fruitless trees and bringing pears and plums and cherries to working class neighborhoods. 

     San Francisco, you see has long banned the planting of fruit-bearing trees for fear of messy sidewalks and messy law suits. Tara Hui thinks that is silly and, with a small cadre of cohorts has set out to do something about it. Then group only grafts onto trees that have been selected by a neighborhood steward who promises to care for it. Likewise they only graft onto similar species: apples to apple trees, for example.

     For more about this delightful project see The L.A. Times.

     Be seeing you.

     

It's A Dirty Job, But...

   Peter Houison Craufurd, 28th Laird of Craufurdland Castle, and Washer of The Sovereign's Hands, has died at the age of 82. For years he has awaited the pleasure of Her Majesty with a with a silver ewer, bowl and salver holding a linen towel on permanent standby. 

     “We used to have to write to Buckingham Palace to offer to wash the monarch’s hands every time they were in residence at the Palace of Holyroodhouse,” said Houison Craufurd.

    The eldest son in the family line has held the position at court ever since one of his ancestors saved James V  from a pair of murderous thugs. In gratitude the family was given a farm on the condition that his family always be ready with water and towels to wash the hands of the monarch.

    For more see: telegraph

    Be seeing you.

Vikings Land In Australia

     Police and local rangers on Elcho Island in the Northern Territories of Australia were somewhat surprised when the received reports of a Viking longboat off shore. 

     "With swords drawn, it was established the Viking vessel was a replica, crewed by six Russians who had sailed from Europe," Watch Commander Gary Smith said.

     The ship had traveled from Europe, through Africa to Thailand before passing their island on the way to Sydney. The boat had a top speed of eight knots.

     For more: abc.net.au

     Be seeing you.

A Different Kind of "Privatization"

     Five months ago a public library was closed in north London as part of a cost-cutting measure. Now a remarkable thing has happened. A group of squatters composed of artists, students and a former librarian have moved into the library and are planning on re-opening it and running it themselves.

     One of the squatters, a Hungarian previously involved in the occupation of a courthouse, states that they are trying to save the building from demolition.

     He said: “Libraries are cultural hubs, there are lots of reasons why people need them. People need to read books — even in the age of the internet, libraries are really crucial.”

     They plan to keep the library open Tuesdays, Wednesdays, Thursdays, and Saturdays from 11 A.M. to 3 P.M.

     They have already acquired 400 books and have started lending them out. Dan said: “Some friends of ours got in and realised this place was important, so they got in contact with us and our friends.

“For us it was about opening up the library. We saw it was really important for local people. They have been trying for 18 months with protests and petitions and have been hitting brick walls, so we thought some direct action could build a bridge with the council.”

     There have been a lot of libraries closed in America the last few years. If anyone from the Occupy movement is reading this...?

     Be seeing you.

   standard.co